3 is the number

This morning an email from my bank informed me that someone had tried 3 times to gain access to my online statement.

I also read this morning that 1 in 3 relationships begin online.  What kind of relationship is that exactly?

We've endured  the Arnold and the DSK shenanigans this spring and I think of Congressman Weiner as rounding out the trio. I wonder if  he will get another two chances with his Brooklyn constituents ...will it be 3 strikes and you're out?



Maureen's take on men behaving badly

Yesterday Maureen Dowd's NYT column was titled "Your Tweetin' Heart." Her entire column is worth reading.

 "In five decades we've moved from the pre-feminist mantra about the sexual peccadilloes of married men--Boys will be boys--to post-feminist resignation: Men are dogs."  MD says there is no point in feminist rage at this because women "seem all too ready to play along." She writes that "we've traded places with France. There, after DSK, a spirited feminism has blossomed, an urge to stop covering up seamy iincidents of droit du seigneur. Now we're the world-weary ones, with little energy to reform relations between the sexes: is there any point, really, in trying to fix men?"


literary fame at last

"Harry Bernstein, Late-Blooming Author, Dies at 101" is the headline for the NYT obituary. He wrote all his life, all sorts of writing and, at age 96, his memoir was published and praised. A second installment of his memoir was published in 2008 and a third volume came out in 2009.  Beautiful writing finally appreciated. Bravo, Mr. Bernstein!


Sex and power --is it coming down to 'here' and 'there?'

I gasped at the sight of DSK facing the crowds of maids shouting "Shame on you!"as he walked into court in Manhattan. Wow. In past weeks, we've read of France having "an Anita Hill moment" and of how the U.S. treats sexual harassment v. how the French see it.  Let's not feel wildly advanced yet.

As recently as 2005, I took to tape recording the absolutely disgusting, sexual comments of a man who held a top position at an international firm. We sat in glass-walled splendor with the sweep of Biscayne Bay beneath us. I had been hired as a private detective for several cases and he was my "handler." I dreaded the meetings in his office and I dreaded it when he insisted we go across the street for lunch or coffee. At one point, I thought the venue made it easier for him to ask me what I liked in bed or to tell me what he wanted to do to me, but I was wrong. He was the same in his office.  I made it clear I expected to discuss the facts of the present case and nothing more. I suggested conference calls instead of meetings. Like the women at IMF, I positioned my chair a certain way then I stopped wearing dresses. Pathetic.  Weak and pathetic! I am disgusted at myself as I write this: he had the power and nothing I said changed anything.  I needed the work and I needed the money. I went to a lawyer and asked what I could do. I was told I could do nothing because I CHOSE to work for this firm, this man. I was an "independent contractor" and not his hired employee.

The work itself, the cases were fascinating.  Undercover,  mostly. Intelligence gathering. I worked hard, did things he told me he did not think anyone could do. I made him look really good which is what I want to do when I'm hired by any company but I used to leave the office and drive home and take a shower.  It's not over with him because someday I will write his story.

My point is: let's not get smug 'over here' when he talk about how 'enlightened' we are about sex and power and how we regard harassment and rape. Not yet.



Monday morning Hunter Writers Conference thoughts

How GOOD it felt to be with writers.  We are a solitary species. Subjective souls. We work so hard. We are looking, imagining, hoping to find the perfect way to present our characters and our stories to strangers. I looked out at the faces in the marketing panel audience and felt my spirits soar in the presence of so much creativity in one room. The air was thick with positive energy. I wish each writer great success.  We are a hardy, idealistic band with so much in common; we are all in this together.